i’ve done some of the leg-work for you…

1. miniature donkey talk

‘the talk of the donkey world’

2. sheep!

‘the voice of the independent flockmaster’

3. a bear’s life

‘celebrating the masculine lifestyle’

4. the girl watcher

‘a guide to girl watching’

5. girls and corpses

‘dreams and nightmares do come true’

website links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

this act in particular is ridiculous.

it’s called the wheel of death and it scares me shitless.

there are a few variations when it comes to the equipment itself but generally it consists of a huge flat-rimmed hoop on either end of a bar, each hoop big enough to hold a nutcase. this bar is attached to a central axle which allows it to spin around, the speed hopefully controlled by said nutcases in the hoops.

as you may have guessed, gravity does indeed make the whole thing more interesting. on top of that are the mentalists who have learnt how to somersault and skip on top of the hoops mid-spin, seemingly oblivious to the obvious dangers involved.

here’s a clip of the cirque du soleil’s wheel of death. at the end the guy starts using a skipping rope - it’s incredible.

and here’s a colombian version of the wheel of death, it has 3 hoops and the speed at which they spin is horrendous.

for as long as i can remember i’ve always wanted my biceps to look like massive mouldy tomatoes - i just never knew which machine to use at the gym.

this fella obviously found that very machine pretty early on and never looked back.

check out the hole in his bicep in the next one. must’ve fallen on something sharp.

completely unrelated, here’s a photo of a bicep that’s been introduced to far too much synthol..

and here’s that same man, gregg valentino, before his body gave in..

source

i say that because it really can’t be easy making a building so disgusting and i actually think it takes more brainpower to make something this hideous than it does to come up with a stunner. so for effort i’d give them all a 10. artistic merit? 0.

so well done chaps. really well done.

in no particular order…

9. torre velasca, milan, italy

architects - belgiojoso, peressutti and rogers

an absolute eyesore, this hulk of a building can be found in the centre of milan, just opposite milan cathedral.

look at it. it has no grace. it’s colour (i think it’s officially called ‘muddy puddle brown’) is depressing and the top-heavy shape confusing. the struts half way up make it look like some kind of insect and if fangs suddenly appeared one morning i wouldn’t be shocked.

8. taipei 101, taipei, taiwan

architects - c. y. lee & partners

the tallest building in the world also happens to be one of the ugliest.

first of all, it looks cheap. the staggered effect makes it look like a massive child has just plonked each of the sections on one by one in a matter of minutes.

secondly, it’s wearing a belt. that in turn makes the building look like an enormous, armless, useless, kilt-wearing robot.

7. hotel piccadilly, manchester, united kingdom

architects - covell, matthews & partners

i come face-to-face with this despicable, shitty building on a daily basis and i’m still shocked by its hideousness each time.

i used to think that a good scrub to the exterior with some soap might give it some hope. i quickly realised that this would be the worst possible course of action due to the fact that a clean and shiny hotel piccadilly may stand out more, thus catching more pedestrians’ eyes, in turn causing more offence.

6. russian embassy building, havana, cuba

architects - unknown

what the hell is this meant to look like?

i can’t even begin to fathom the thought process behind this design. remember, this was created by (hopefully) people with qualifications. the thin tower at the top looks pathetic, as if it got lost on its way to a castle - it’s proper home. the locals call it ‘the vodka bottle’.

the whole thing just looks like a building where punishments are handed out, the most severe at the top.

5. hotel sofitel, tokyo, japanarchitects - kikutake architects

horrific.

if you asked a child to draw a white christmas tree using a bbc micro computer they’d possibly come up with something similar to this.

it stands out like a sore thumb and looks like some kind of high-rise detention centre. and how is it a good idea to have practically no windows on one side of a massive building? i hope to god sofitel don’t print photos of this monstrosity in their brochures.

4. ryugyong hotel, pyongyang, north korea

architects - baikdoosan architects

this disgraceful creation has stood unfinished since 1992, the year construction stopped, and the crane still stands at the top. unbelievably it wasn’t based on a young child’s space rocket sketch.

the fact that it is incomplete still doesn’t save it as i can’t see what further developments would make this even slightly attractive.

3. tuk chang, bangkok, thailand

architects - arun chaiseri group

‘tuk chang’ translates as ‘elephant building’. however, instead of a tusk it seems they decided to give it a beak. either way, objects resembling animals should not exceed a certain size.

of course, none of this matters in the grand scheme of things. the main thing to remember is that the building is a man-made stain on our planet. the fact that the elephant is thailand’s national symbol makes no difference, i just know that i’d be thoroughly ashamed to live anywhere near it, let alone be responsible for its design.

2. westin hotel, new york, united states

architects - arquitectonica

this building makes me angry.

ok, so it’s situated in times square and if it had to be built then that’s probably the only home for it, but leave the gaudiness to the neon signs and electronic billboards. for $300 million i’d expect a building that turned heads for a positive reason.

the shapes, angles, colour scheme… all badly designed.

awful.

1. green citadel, madgeburg, germany

architect - friedensreich hundertwasser

absolutely disgusting.

if i saw this at disney world i’d let it go. i’d be slightly repelled but yeah, i wouldn’t feel wronged. to see it in a town centre and learn that it’s an accommodation block really really concerns me. witnessing crap like this truly makes me want to start a petition to enforce some kind of public jury system to greenlight proposed constructions because the current system is obviously not working.

sources: 1, 2, 3

i reckon the guy in the first photo succumbed a long time ago and now works directly for the dishes.

munich…

kosovo…

tehran (please note, they’re illegal here)…

kabul…

amsterdam…

child prodigies? pushy parents? exploitation?

have a look and decide…

rafita mirabal

when i was 10 years old my idea of danger was knocking on number 34’s door and running away. the adrenaline nearly knocked me out. 10 year old rafita mirabal has different ideas - he’s a bullfighter. with real bulls. there are differences between this mini-matador and the fully grown versions (the bulls are smaller and the finale doesn’t involve him spearing the animal to death due to lack of strength), but that doesn’t mean the bulls give him an easy ride. he’s been knocked about and stamped on many times, his bravery just fuelling his fame throughout mexico.

his parents’ thoughts?

“as long as this is his passion, we’ll do battle alongside him.”

akrit jaswal

when he was just 7 years old akrit jaswal performed an operation on an 8 year old girl to seperate her fingers which had been fused together in an accident. now 12 years old, akrit is busy in his own laboratory trying to find a cure for cancer, something he claims to have almost found. his obsession with medicine started when he was very young - he memorised medical books and dissected chickens to get a better understanding of surgery. he has also handed out prescriptions in his home town to thousands of people after word spread about his gift. bizarrely, his father left the family home last year and told his son not to get in touch until he had discovered the cure.

now that’s what I call pressure.

below is the first part of a fascinating documentary about akrit. subsequent parts can be found on this Youtube user’s page.

solomon yirenkyi

for the past 3 years, 11 year old solomon has been preaching at his local church in ghana every sunday for several hours as well as presenting two weekly radio shows. his father is a well-known preacher / healer too, his stage name being ‘jesus one touch’, and realised his son was meant for bigger things when he started imitating his sermons aged 3. his son subsequently stole his dad’s crown and now stands on stage on a weekly basis holding a microphone that’s possibly larger than his head. since starting he has, amongst other things, ‘healed the blind, caused the dumb to talk and the crippled to walk‘. his father has recieved critisism from a few different angles, the majority from those who believe he’s exploiting his son for financial gain.

budhia singh

at the age of 3, budhia singh was running a growth-stunting 20 miles per day in his hometown of orissa in india. incidentally, at the same age i specifically remember having difficulty running around the couch without getting a stitch. budhia is now the world’s youngest marathon runner and in may 2006 he somehow managed to cover 65km in 7 hours 2 minutes, without a break. just about every organisation in the world has been quick to condemn the boy’s coach who has apparently made a small fortune from budhia’s success and on may 8th 2006 the indian government ordered budhia to stop running. the coach has since been arrested.

below is a news report about the kerfuffle.

extras:

- a short clip to make you smile..

- and you thought getting into mensa was an achievement? the giga society’s aim is “to honor the efforts of the very highest scorers, who are of great importance to the development of ultra-high-ceiling tests for mental abilities”. it’s so difficult to gain entry that only 1 out of every 1 billion people on earth would qualify for membership.

sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5