the smallest of the thousand islands, ‘just room enough’ is home to this cottage. only when the water level is low enough is there room for the outside furniture you see in the photo.

this is castel del monte in puglia, italy and i personally think it’s aesthetically the greatest castle ever built.



due to the lack of a moat it certainly isn’t the best in terms of defenses but this perfectly designed octagonal castle looks incredible.



it was built in 1240 on the orders of emperor frederick II who used the castle as a hunting lodge. the emperor was fascinated by mathematics and astronomy, a result of which can be seen in the design.



check out the sources below for more detailed info.

sources: 1, 2, 3, 4

this beast is the duga-3, a 900 metre-long radar system based just outside chernobyl that was used during the cold war to detect anti-ballistic missiles from as far as thousands of miles away. the signal it transmitted apparently sounded like a woodpecker, hence the nickname ‘the russian woodpecker’, and was so strong that it resulted in worldwide complaints following disruptions to various broadcasts. at times it could even be heard during telephone calls.



click the photo below for a bigger version.



more info here.

shibam, yemen

also known as ‘the manhattan of the desert’, shibam is said to be home to the world’s oldest, surviving skyscrapers.



although some have been refurbished considerably since being constructed from mud-brick the majority of the 500+ buildings date back around 500 years, an incredible feat considering the technology available at the time.



the current population is a surprisingly low 7′000 and each building requires constant maintenance to combat erosion.



unsurprisingly, inside the city there is virtually no traffic due to the extremely narrow alleyways.



a brief but very cool fly-by of the area…



shibam on archnet here

shibam on traveladventures.com

shibam at the world heritage centre

originally intended as a short post about one of the choices below, it quickly became clear that there are some extraordinary human beings intent on changing their appearance permanently for reasons that will forever baffle most people. whether you agree with it or not, you can’t deny the fact that it’s a fascinating way of life.
each to his own.

(click on photos for bigger)

10. leopard man

whether he’s mad or not, 67yr old tom leppard seems extremely happy living in a hand-built home on the isle of skye, 99% of his body tattooed with leopard print. he spends his days reading, scampering about the place on all fours like a leopard and staying away from the hustle and bustle of modern society. for a man who looks like john locke after an intense mud fight he actually seems pretty pleasant…

9. etienne dumont

etienne dumont is an art & culture critic for a newspaper in geneva who just happens to be covered head to toe in some of the most vibrant tattoos i’ve ever seen. he also has silicon implants under the skin which give the horned appearance, 2.7 inch rings in each earlobe and plexiglass piercings through the nose and under his bottom lip. the best part has to be the blue rimmed glasses though, a perfect addition to an incredible look.

8. rick genest

would you let your daughter marry rick genest? i’m sure he’s probably a lovely chap but that’s without doubt the scariest human head i will ever see in my lifetime. there isn’t much information about mr genest himself on the internet (would you approach him for an interview?) but we do know the tattoo was crafted by the chaps at ‘derm fx tattoo‘ in montreal. job well done guys.

7. the illustrated lady

julia gnuse (aka the illustrated lady) was born with a condition called porphyria which causes her skin to blister regularly and ultimately scar. in order to cover this up she started getting tattoos applied over the affected areas - after 10 years she was covered in the bastards and is now the most tattooed woman in the world.

6. elaine davidson

in total, brazilian elaine davidson has a number of tattoos and over 2500 piercings on her body, both internally and externally, approximately 500 just around the genitals. the total extra weight she carries due to this obsession comes to around 3kg and she is thankfully the most pierced person in the world. now living in edinburgh she claims to be too scared to go home to brazil due to the attention she’d attract possibly resulting in some kind of attack.

5. kala kaiwi

kala kawai has 67 piercings and 75 % of his body is tattooed so it’s a good job he chose a career in body modification, running his own studio in hawaii. he has stretched the holes in his earlobes to 4 inches, inserted various silicon implants on his head, can screw metal spikes into the top of his skull, has a split tongue and generally looks extremely frightening. also worth bearing in mind is that he split his own tongue using dental floss and did all his own piercings.

holy shit.

4. pauly unstoppable (bme page)

with a name like ‘unstoppable’ you’d be stupid to give up on the modifications after a couple of earrings. this guy has surely the largest nostrils in the western world (if you look closely i’m almost certain you can see his brain) plus a huge array of other ‘body mods’ to his name including scars cut into his cheeks and forehead, a split tongue, domes implanted under the skin of his forehead and many many more. to see the complete list go here. to see a harrowing, nsfw photo of mr unstoppable’s private parts, click here.

3. the lizardman (website)

born eric sprague in 1972, the lizardman was one of the first people to have a split tongue and in some circles is seen to be wholly responsible for the recent popularity of this particular modification. pretty much all of his body is covered in green scale tattoos, his teeth have been filed down to sharp points and he has numerous silicon teflon implants in his head.

below is an interview with the lizardman - check out the forked tongue action.

2. lucky diamond rich (website)

it goes without saying that this guy is officially the most tattooed person in the world - he swiped the record from our friend tom leppard at #10 in 2006. he has tattoos everywhere, some of the stranger places including his eyelids, inside his ears and even on his gums. it’s apparently a work in progress and has so far included the efforts of hundreds of tattoo artists and over 1,000 hrs of pain.  obviously, he can also swallow swords.

interview…

1. stalking cat (website)

first place was always gonna go to 44 yr old dennis avner, aka stalking cat. i remember a few years ago watching a documentary about him and nearly crying when his face appeared for the first time, my brain simply wasn’t able to process the sight. he looks like a cross between jocelyn wildenstein and the beast from the old beauty & the beast tv programme.



and he’s gone the whole hog in terms of body modification: tattoos, silicon implants on his face, pointed teeth, surgically pointed ears, piercings, attachable whiskers, claws, a bifurcated top lip and even an animatronic tiger’s tail. he says he’s been going through these procedures for the past 20 years because he grew up in a native american tribe and his belief in their customs drove him to transform into his totem animal - the tiger.



here’s a video of stalking cat picking up his new animatronic tail..



extras:

- a short documentary about ‘branding’, a process that involves using extremely hot metal to scar the skin



- a clip of someone having his tongue split (DO NOT WATCH IF SQEUAMISH)



- a trailer for the body modification documentary ‘flesh and blood’



sources: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15

ironworkers / construction workers apparently have the 4th most dangerous job in the world and looking at these photos and videos it’s easy to see why. out of every 100,000 construction workers, 48 die due to work-related accidents.

one thing i wouldn’t suggest if you’re in that line of work is lying back on a girder at the top of a half-built skyscraper in order to pose for a photograph. if the insurance company find out they may be reluctant to pay out if you do fall half a kilometre and somehow survive.

(click on photos for bigger versions)



















the next 2 photos are of mentalists who aren’t even ironworkers, they just fancied risking life and limb for a decent shot.





if that hasn’t made you feel queasy enough, have a quick look at the videos below. insanity.




feeling a bit safer now in your 3rd floor office?

[update] i’ve really hit some nerves with this list. 1. in my opinion, de caprio in blood diamond was an example of a good accent on the whole. not perfectly consistent but there’s no way he’s amongst the worst. 2. al pacino in scarface - fair point, it was horrendous and should’ve been included. 3. kate beckinsale in underworld - i’ve not seen the film 4. nic cage in any film with an accent - again, fair point. 4. catherine zeta jones wasn’t playing an american in traffic? really?

catherine zeta jones - traffic

remember when steve soderbergh made brilliant films? i do. traffic was an incredible example of soderbergh at his peak but the cracks were already starting to show - namely the casting of catherine ‘oggy’ zeta ‘oggy’ jones as an american. considering she’s been using a fake american accent at every opportunity since marrying michael douglas you’d think she’d have been a bit better.

trailer…



keanu reeves - dracula

i was tempted not to even mention this one due to the fact that he’s not an actor. it’s just a given that he’ll never be able to imitate someone with an english accent because he can’t imitate anything unless it has no emotion, voice or physical presence. and to say yes to the part after finding out the gary oldman is gonna share scenes with you and make you look even worse is just acting suicide.

tommy lee jones - blown away

ahh, tommy lee jones. seriously, tell me a good film he’s been in apart from the fugitive? there isn’t one. maybe all casting directors were alerted as soon as blown away was released and the whole world watched him play an irish terrorist with an icelandic accent. if he wants to get any awards in future he’s gonna have to hope that bjork biopic gets made and someone’s needed to play her dad.

incredibly dramatic trailer…



kevin costner- robin hood

am i correct in thinking that robin hood was meant to be english? if i am then this is the most extreme case of shit ‘accenting’ i have ever witnessed. as if having bryan adams at no.1 in the charts for 2yrs isn’t bad enough, costner turns up on set and doesn’t even consider putting on an accent to play mr hood. there are even some scenes where it sounds as if he’s trying to sound more american just to piss me off.

dick van dyke - mary poppins

there’s a reason why dick’s performance in mary poppins is always mentioned when the subject of shit movie accents is brought up: because it’s absolutely hilariously bad. if the director had said to him before the film, “listen dick, i want you to do a comedy cockney accent throughout filming. don’t take it seriously.” he still couldn’t have done a worse accent.



don cheadle - oceans 11

i couldn’t find a decent clip of cheadle doing his dick van dyke impression but nevermind, it would’ve made me wretch anyway. so what’s the matter with soderbergh? doesn’t he do auditions of any sort? all he needed to hear was one sentence of cheadle’s disgraceful cock-er-ney accent before realising he was absolutely not suitable for the part. maybe not though because the fucker hired him again for the sequels.

sean connery - the untouchables / hunt for red october / highlander

[update] his accent in the untouchables was so shit i actually remembered it as being american when in reality he was trying to play an irishman.

sean connery was good for only 2 things: indiana jones & the last crusade and james bond. every other film could be wiped from his back catalogue and he’d be better off. his russian impression in the hunt for red october is bad. his egyptian impression in highlander is awful. his american irish accent in the untouchables is the funniest piece of acting ever unintentionally produced. watch the clip below and then tell me you didn’t urinate at least a little bit in your pants.



brad pitt - seven years in tibet / devil’s own 

pitt’s austrian accent in seven years in tibet isn’t actually that bad. the problem is, he keeps forgetting to fucking use it. at the start it isn’t too much of a problem but by the end of the film he, and the rest of the crew, seem to have given up. with devil’s own however, his oirish accent is just shit. he’d have been better off using the pikey accent he somehow managed in snatch than the poor attempt he gave.

mike myers - shrek

i know it’s an animated comedy but i don’t care - the scottish accent that comes from myers’ lips is really shit. i’ve worked it out and he only sounds scottish 4% of the time, other noted accents coming from shrek during the film including australian, south african and russian.

trailer…



josh hartnett - blow dry

‘from the creators of full monty’. that’s one sentence that should immediately ring alarm bells as you walk into the cinema, closely followed by an evacuation of the building as you realise that someone has employed josh ‘charisma’ hartnett to play someone from yorkshire in a comedy about hairdressing. even for british people it’s a difficult accent to imitate - now imagine training a dog to pull it off. pretty bad? the dog would’ve been more consistent. strangely i couldn’t find any footage of josh in character on the intertubes.

julia roberts - mary reilly

first off, it’s an awful film. secondly, julia roberts’ attempt at an irish accent is disturbingly bad. at best she sounds like a posh english woman, at worst she seems to be playing someone from texas. watch the trailer - there are plenty of examples. at one point when she says, “i don’t believe there’s anyone out there sir”, she apparently drops any kind of attempted accent and ploughs on regardless.



patsy kensit - lethal weapon 2

i can only imagine they gave kensit the part due to her looks because she can’t act for shit. when she has a line she looks as if she’s reading from a piece of paper covered in text the size of ants and her accent is just confusing. unless i was mistaken and she was actually playing the part of an alcoholic norwegian woman, she was crap.

trailer…



michael caine - cider house rules

he won an oscar for this performance and if there’d also been an award for ‘weakest fake accent’ he’d have bagged 2 trophies. maybe it’s just because whenever i hear his voice i immediately think ‘…blow the bloody doors off…’ but like all shit accent performances it ruined the film for me. it’s just far too distracting.
trailer (narrated by caine)…



john malkovich - rounders

(cheers to rodge for reminding me)

a late addition, i completely forgot about malkovich’s absurd accent in rounders. supposedly a russian character, he sounds like a drunk count dracula. or anyone evil from a cartoon. watch…

(click on all photos to go to the relevant company website)

you’re on a company website and there’s a section called either ‘about us’, ‘meet the team’ or something similar. you click on it and 9 times out of 10 you’ll see a photo like this one…



nicely done, professional, very straightforward, probably accompanied by a brief career history of each person. it serves it’s purpose. that’s how a ‘meet the team’ photo should be.

every now and then the company may have hired a photographer with a thing for creative angles, as shown in the photo below..



for those not in the know, this is called the ‘elevated team shot’ and whilst there’s nothing too shit about this type of photo, if you want your company to retain any kind of dignity then the angle of attack should never exceed the level shown. if the photographer is directly above you on a crane, your neck is at a right angle and you can only see your head, shoulders and feet in the photograph, it’s gone too far. the photo below is nearly at that point. i imagine he did try more extreme elevation but someone stopped him…



you see? they don’t look comfortable, their bodies look tiny and when i ‘met the team’ i instantly lost about half my respect for them as a company.

sometimes each employee will be photographed individually, as below…



again, this is how it should be done. he looks professional and presentable, he isn’t wearing a woolly jumper and he’s smiling at an acceptable level. obviously you don’t want a face like thunder in an ‘mtt’ photo but you also don’t want to be smiling manically - people don’t trust that look in a staged photograph. example…



that would possibly frighten me if i was looking to do business with her department. she looks as if she’s itching to lose control at any point and if i was her superior i’d tell her to take some time off before she suffers some kind of meltdown.

with individual ‘mtt’ photos the photographer can ruin your credibility in other ways too, the most common involving objects. for some reason a large number of photographers attempt to think outside the box when taking mtt photos only to land back in that same box with a thud. they think that involving objects, comical or not, in an mtt photo is an adventurous way of showing an employee’s lighter side, a way to really let the viewer in and learn a bit more about the things that make the subject tick.

what they don’t ever consider is that it makes the employee look really fucking stupid.

there are quite a few examples of this kind of abuse (it is abuse) and they’re all incredibly funny for everyone but the victims in the photos. take a look…






there are two more to show you: one which actually scares me a little and confuses the hell out of me (the one that doesn’t involve food) whilst the other one is my favourite ever mtt photo (the banana phone). remember, these are all genuine companies (click on the photos) who actually want custom…



why the hell is he tied up? is he saying he feels constrained at work? he’s suffocated? no room to blossom? unbelievable. as for the banana shot, it’s as much down to the facial expression and hand behind back as it is the actual banana-phone gag that makes this the best mtt photo ever.
the moral of the story? if you’re posing for an mtt photo, make sure you aren’t…

- looking up more than 40 degrees
- frowning or grinning wildly
- interacting with an object that isn’t a chair

i’m honestly thinking of devoting a section of the site to this phenomenon - there are so many companies out there and a huge number of ‘crazy’ photographers, the amount of hilarious ‘meet the team’ sections on corporate websites is surely immense.

if you find any let me know.