not including murderers (they tend to dampen the mood) i present to you some of the angriest famous people in the world.

angriest politician


- john prescott

i’ve written about john prescott before on my old blog and i still maintain that he’s my favourite ever politician. he’s angry, lethargic and completely pathetic in front of camera. the amount of times he’s fucked up on live tv is unreal and i’ve watched him ranting on bbc newsnight plenty of times to realise he’s got one hell of a temper. and here we have the icing on the anger cake. if you were a politician and someone egged you in public, how would you react? hopefully not like this…



angriest parliament

- taiwanese

there’s a cable channel here in the uk that consists purely of footage from british parliament. does anyone watch it? do they fuck. the reason being, it’s the most boring spectacle on earth.
that isn’t the case if you’re watching taiwanese parliament. they have a worldwide reputation for anger management issues and especially during the 80’s and 90’s tried to batter each other at every available opportunity.

‘the first rule of taiwanese parliament: do not talk about taiwanese parliament’

watch this clip for a taster…



angriest footballers/soccer players

- eric cantona

now cantona wasn’t generally an angry person on the field but i wanted to include him purely due to the flying kick he produced a few years back. he’d just been sent off the pitch by the referee and as he was walking off a guy in the crowd shouted something that must’ve rubbed eric up the wrong way.
here’s his reaction…



- roy keane

from the day he started playing til the day he went into management, roy keane was constantly an angry, passionate player. he wasn’t a big fella either but that never stopped him.
use your eyes to watch a couple of his angry moments…


 

angriest tennis player

- john mcenroe

no contest as to who is the angriest ever tennis player. the amount of times he lost his temper on court is ridiculously high and through sheer anger he managed to create the catchphrase ‘you cannot be serious’.

to prove he hasn’t lost the temper here’s a couple of clips from 2 different eras…

the early years



mcenroe aged 48, still angry



angriest baseball coach

- hal mcrae

‘while managing for kansas city royals, mcrae was involved in an infamous incident in which he lost his temper with reporters and trashed his entire office, throwing things off of his desk and yelling profanities at reporters. it was recently voted the biggest pro-athlete blow up on the best damn sports show period’.

this is scary. watch out for the telephone to the face attack…



angriest boxer

- mike tyson

what can you say about iron mike that doesn’t involve his temper? absolutely off the chart in terms of mentalness and anger, if i could post a clip of his entire angry career i would do. the fact that when he talks he sounds like alvin the chipmunk just makes him scarier.



the ear chomp



angriest television presenter

- bill o’reilly

i personally think bill o’reilly’s a bit of an angry self-righteous twat and it infuriates me to watch clips of his programme. i also hate geraldo for similar reasons.
however, witnessing the two of them arguing is like watching two rabid brainless dogs fighting over a bone - hilarious.

angry brilliance.



angriest supermodel

- naomi campbell

if you’re ever offered a job by naomi campbell, don’t accept it.
unless, that is, you’re a sucker for extreme stress, temper tantrums and heavy objects to the head.

‘The allegations:
1998: Aide Georgina Galanis claims Campbell hit her over the head. The model pleaded guilty and paid undisclosed damages.
2000: Vanessa Frisbee accused Campbell of throwing a plate at her. The model denied it and sued for a breach of contract.
2001: Assistant Simone Craig claimed she had been kept hostage by the model, who denied the charge.
2004: Millicent Burton, a maid, accused Campbell of slapping her. The model said Ms Burton started it.
2005: Assistant Amanda Brack claims she was slapped and beaten with a BlackBerry device. The model denied violence.
2005: Yvonne Scio, actress and friend, claims Campbell punched and kicked her in a Rome hotel. The model denied violence.
2006: Housekeeper Ana Scolavino alleges she suffered a head wound when Campbell threw her mobile phone at her.’
(from the independent)

angriest actor

- russell crowe

russell crowe is extremely angry - fact.

i’ve seen quite a few interviews with the crowe and pretty much every fucking time he has a look on his face that says, ‘god i hate talking to people. right now i’d rather be eating my own kneecaps than discussing my latest film’. he’s snappy, grumpy and angry.
and he’s had a few scuffles.

- he appeared at the 2002 baftas and read a tribute to the late richard harris but when the show was aired some of it was cut. crowe responded by roughing up the show’s producer malcolm gerrie.
- in june 2005 the crowe launched a telephone (possibly one of those really old, heavy ones. possibly not) into the head of a hotel employee after he dispicably refused to assist the crowe in making a call. that non-call cost him us$100′000.
other angry crowe moments can be digested here.

angriest musician

- bjork

it seems that bjork has a slight temper. i assumed she was nuts after hearing her music but never realised just how loopy. in 1996 she flew to thailand (on a plane) and as she exited the airport was greeted by a group of journalists, one of whom approached her son and uttered the words “welcome to bangkok”…



angriest ‘punk’

- henry rollins

watch and learn how to be constructively angry from a pro…



angriest minor league baseball coach

obviously this guy…



extras:

- a report about tv confrontations containing quite a few classic moments



- ask men’s top 10 angry athletes can be read here

everyone loves a good hoax, as long as they aren’t the victim, and some people seem to take great pleasure from planning ‘em.

here’s a collection of some of the best.

the yes men - dow chemical hoax

‘On December 3, 2004, the twentieth anniversary of the Bhopal chemical disaster, Andy Bichlbaum appeared on BBC World as “Jude Finisterra”, a Dow Chemical spokesman. (Dow is the owner of Union Carbide, the company responsible for the chemical disaster which killed thousands and left over 120,000 requiring lifelong care.)

On their fake Dow Chemical Website, the Yes Men first said as clearly and emphatically as possible that Dow Chemical Company had no intention whatsoever of repairing the damage. The real company received considerable backlash and both the real Dow and the phony Dow denied the statements, but Dow took no real action.

The Yes Men decided to pressure Dow further, so as “Finisterra” went on the news to claim that Dow planned to liquidate Union Carbide and use the resulting $12 billion to pay for medical care, clean up the site, and fund research into the hazards of other Dow products. After two hours of wide coverage, Dow issued a press release denying the statement, ensuring even greater coverage of the phony news of a cleanup.’

here’s the channel 4 news report following the actual interview which you can see below…



the hoax interview itself…



orson welles - war of the worlds

although technically not a hoax i’m including this as it’s generally known as one by millions of people.

‘A wave of mass hysteria seized thousands of listeners who were led to believe that an interplanetary conflict had started with invading Martians spreading wide death and destruction in New Jersey and New York. The broadcast disrupted households, interrupted religious services, created traffic jams, and clogged communications systems. Thousands of telephone calls reached CBS stations, city authorities, newspaper offices, and police headquarters in various cities testified to the mistaken belief. The broadcast became a rumor that spread throughout the country, with many people standing on street corners, hoping for a sight of the “battle” in the skies’.

you can listen to / download the original radio broadcast here or stream it through the shambolic monster we know and love as youtube…



flemish independence hoax
seems like a slightly dangerous way to ’spark debate’ to me but that’s exactly what happened late december 2006 when belgian tv station rtbf aired a fake news report claiming that the dutch-speaking half of belgium had declared independence.

‘The French-language TV channel interrupted regular programming with an apparent news report, announcing that Dutch-speaking Flanders had unilaterally declared independence and that Belgium as a nation had ceased to exist. It showed “live” pictures of cheering crowds holding the Flemish flag, huge traffic jams leading to Brussels airport, and trams stuck at the new “border”.

“It’s very bad Orson Welles, in very poor taste,” said a spokesman for Prime Minister Guy Verhofstadt.
The broadcast came amid an apparent growth of separatist sentiment in Flanders.’

good timing chaps.

bbc panorama’s spaghetti tree hoax

back in 1957, the geniuses at the bbc broadcast one of the funniest hoaxes ever and duped thousands into believing that pasta could be grown on trees.

‘The last two weeks of March are an anxious time for the spaghetti farmers. There’s always the chance of a late frost which - while not entirely ruining the crop - generally impairs the flavour, and makes it difficult for him to obtain top prices in world markets. But now these dangers are over, and the spaghetti harvest goes forward’.

following the airing of the programme the bbc switchboard recieved hundreds of calls from viewers wishing to grow the mysterious trees, to which the bbc replied:

‘Place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.”

here’s a slightly rough recording of the report….



alan abel

serial hoaxer alan abel has been labelled as the ‘best hoaxer on the plant’ by many and since the 1950’s has been fooling people on a huge scale. a recent documentary about him, made by his daughter, called ‘abel raises cain’ recently won the ‘best documentary’ award at the slamdance festival.

‘Alan Abel’s radio and television appearances include Today, Tonight, BBC, Good Morning America, 20/20, 48 Hours, National Public Radio and CNN Financial News.’

here are some clips from some of his hoaxes:

alan’s ‘ban breastfeedin’ hoax…



the ‘females for felons’ hoax…



his infamous ‘howard hughes’ hoax…



the big donor show



in may 2007 the creators of big brother, endemol, announced a new show called ‘the big donor show’ in which a terminally ill woman would select one of three patients to receive her kidneys live on tv. obviously the public thought this was a step too far and went fucking mental. it was quickly all over the worldwide news with members of every possible government condemning the programme.

however, the programme went ahead and in a twist at the end the host revealed the participants to be actors, the idea being to highlight the growing shortage of organ donors throughout the world.
job done.



joey skaggs

mr skaggs is another serial hoaxer who fittingly runs the sit pranks.com, an online resource for all things devious. he’s been duping the media for decades. in 2000 he proposed ‘a combined funeral company, virtual graveyard and theme park. It was meant to satirize showmanship in places like Forest Lawn cemeteries. Some investors were actually interested. Final Curtain’s website is still functioning.‘.
a couple of reports on skaggs…





hitler diaries



in 1983, konrad kujau created the ‘hitler diaries’ and later sold them as an authentic piece to ’stern magazine’ for 9.3 million deutschmarks. he was later jailed for 4 and a half years for forgery. the diaries were ‘peppered with personal comments such as “must get tickets for the olympic Games for eva” and “the little dr goebbels is up to his tricks again with women”, (but) the works still fooled many of those who came in contact with them.‘

fucking hilarious.

harvard - “we suck” hoax



‘On November 20 2004, at the annual Yale-Harvard football game, Yale students used a card stunt to trick more than 1,800 Harvard fans into holding up placards that spelled “WE SUCK.”

Michael Kai and David Aulicino, two Yale students from the Class of 2005, created and coordinated the plan. Disguised as the “Harvard Pep Squad,” they and twenty classmates handed white and crimson placards to fans in the central area of the Harvard side of the stadium, which comprised primarily Harvard alumni, as well as a few faculty, students, and other fans. The group told the crowd that by lifting the placards they would spell “GO HARVARD.” The placards were actually arranged to spell “WE SUCK.”‘



extras:

- bbc article on hoaxes
- top 100 april fools hoaxes at the briliant museum of hoaxes
- a gigantic list of hoaxes at wikipedia
- pc world’s top 25 web hoaxes and pranks

kate moss recently ‘designed’ a clothing range for topshop (a fashion retailer) here in britain, the result: millions of women lost their minds and turned into homing pigeons for the launch. the overnight queues outside the flagship store in london were hideous, hundreds of females camping outside the building, frothing at the mouth. the same thing happened when madonna put her name to a clothing range for h&m the other year: there were stories of physical confrontation amongst the queuing mental cases as they literally fought to grab a pair of madge’s socks before anyone else.

fucking crazy behaviour.

anyway, reading about it the other day got me curious about queuing in general. i suddenly wanted to know about regional queuing etiquette, the longest queuing time ever, aggresive queuers etc. it’s the sort of shit i find interesting.

here’s what i found.

1. on the 11th day of every month in beijing it’s officially ‘queuing day‘ - it’s held on the 11th because the number 11 looks similar to a couple of people waiting in line. the day’s slogan is ‘it’s civilised to queue. it’s glorious to be polite‘. bless ‘em.




2. the longest traffic jam / queue on record occurred in 1980 (feb 16th) on the road between lyon and paris as a result of horrific weather and families returning home after the skiing season. at it’s peak the line of stationary vehicles stood at 109 miles (176 km).

3. apple opened their 1st retail store in japan in 2003. this is a clip of the queue that day. stick with it, it’s unbelievable.



4. (7th april 05) - ‘die-hard star wars fans, some 112 of them, have already begun lining up at the grauman’s chinese theater, the traditional site for the movie’s hollywood premiere, for the may 19th debut of star wars: episode III — revenge of the sith. however, today’s los angeles daily news reported that the fans may be waiting in line at the wrong theater’.

that’s a queuing time of 43 days. for a film. outside the wrong building.

5. you thought no.4 was nuts?

john guth and jeff tweiten queued for 136 earth days (1st jan 03 - 16th may 03) before the premiere of attack of the clones. the original plan was to do it for the 2 years preceding the release but they sort-of came to their senses and realised they couldn’t fund themselves for that long.

clever guys huh?

6. when queues get angry…



7. there’s a blog devoted to queuing called standinaqueue and it’s cool as fuck. originally intended as a place to discuss and post photos of british queues, it now features stationary lines from places like rwanda and the very orderly beijing. i suggest you take a look.
no pushing.

8. the psychology of queuing.

9. here’s a video of a queue at heathrow airport. it’s not even for a flight, just people attempting to get to terminal 4.



10. queuing explained at wikipedia.
anyone got anything long and stationary i could add to this list?

(the reason for this post is simple: the other night an albino starred in one of my dreams. seems as good a reason as any)

for starters, wanna read something brilliant?

“i read that the condition (albinism) was often a product of incest. otherwise, there’s a million to one chance, because you need identical genes to mix”

there are so many reasons why this is one of the worst quotes ever.

first off, this is the guy who uttered the words during an interview…

that’s actor charlie hunnam, in character, playing an albino in cold mountain. he doesn’t actually suffer from albinism, he just wore a white wig and scary red contact lenses - job done. the film was an adaptation of a classic book and this character, the evil ‘bosie’, wasn’t even an albino in the novel. the director, anthony minghella, decided to add this facet to the character to give him more of an edge.

anyway, hunnam was told to research albinism in depth to gain a better understanding of the condition, so off he went, presumably to a library in the 1800’s, came back with that little nugget of information and spread the word to the masses through the power of interview (whole interview here).

and there you have the problem. a few words spill out of an actor’s mouth and another damaging myth gathers a few more fans. why the fuck he was allowed to spout it in the first place is beyond me, it’s not like it was some small independent film with tight budgets and restricted crew, it was one of the biggest films of the year. and they let charlie do the research, presumably followed by a whirlwind tour of promotion and countless interviews all over the globe. that’s potentially a lot of bollocks being spread to a lot of people, some of whom seem to believe everything famous humans say.

anyway, seems it’s not just charlie who’s kicking albinism in the nuts, his industry’s been having a go for years.

found this great list of albino movie characters, have a look through your eyeballs. the last column’s the most interesting part. seems that of the 85 or so albino characters in cinema since 1912, around 90% have been evil, the remainder either being comical or supernatural. well done hollywood.

here’s a couple of ‘em.

silas - da vinci code



whitey - me, myself & irene
 


here’s some interesting stuff i found whilst cruising the intertubes…

- ever seen a black albino stand-up comedian? i hadn’t.



this is victor varnado, a comedian/actor who’s been in quite a few big films. absorb his fucking funny act below.



- albinism even exists in the music industry, shock horror. i can’t believe i didn’t realise that johnny and edgar winter were albinos before today.

johnny & edgar winter




al beeno




yellowman




- there’s an ‘interesting’ yahoo group called ‘albino babes’ here.



- there are some incredible 19th century albinism photos here.



- loads of photos of albino animals can be stared at here.



- a non-profit organisation called positive exposure are attempting to ‘challenge the stigma associated with difference and celebrate the richness of genetic variation’ through photography. check them out here.

- great article on albinism in film here.

- a small list of popular albinism myths can be seen here.

- loads of info on albinism in general here.

- noah - the national organisation for albinism and hypopigmentation

it’s the kind of place i never want to visit but am constantly intrigued about (possibly as a result of watching prison break) so i did some research.

so here are some of the most interesting prisons on earth. who knows, you may find the info useful one day.

1. world’s most valuable prison
san quentin state prison, california
capacity: 3317



the land underneath 154yr old san quentin state prison is estimated to be worth $80 to $100 million, instantly making it the most valuable prison in the world. it occupies 275 acres of oceanfront land overlooking the bay, some say the most valuable real estate in the whole country. that got me thinking, what’s the insurance like on these places?



2. world’s smallest prison
sark prison, sark, guernsey
capacity: 2



sark prison is located on the island of sark in guernsey, was built in 1856 and is apparently the smallest in the world. it can house 2 prisoners at a push and is still used for overnight stays - if you continue to play up after that you’ll get shipped off to a proper grown-up jail with corridors and staff.
now, there aren’t many photos of sark prison but on all of them i’ve failed to see a single window. nice. like living in a bread-bin.

3. world’s most secure prison
adx supermax, florence, colorado
capacity: 550



this is the king of all prisons, and I mean the evil king. to be fair, it’s what a prison should be: harsh. even the name means business, supermax prisons being the securest in the world.
this ‘high-tech alcatraz’ was opened in 1994 and is home to only the most violent and dangerous criminals in the country. those pesky prisoners have absolutely no contact with each other at any time and spend 22 hours per day in solitary confinement (cell size 7ft x 8ft), leaving plenty of time to consider what to have as their last meal (by the way, mine would be steak, griddled asparagus and creamy mash). a lot of convicts who enter adx, understandably, lose their mind pretty soon after entering and unless you own a sentence of 25yrs or over you aint getting in.
random scary adx prisoner: robert richard reid / the shoe bomber




4. world’s strangest prison
san pedro, bolivia
capacity: 800



fucking hell, where do i start?

convicts at san pedro in bolivia have to pay rent for a cell and they all have jobs within the prison. a large number have partners and children staying with them and tourists/backpackers are allowed to enter the prison but must be accompanied by a tour guide (a prisoner) for safety reasons (wtf?!). tourists can even stay the night in a cell for a small fee and a large number of them frequent the jail in order to buy cocaine from inmates as it’s apparently the purest and cheapest in Bolivia. it’s also been suggested that local police only enter the facility to collect bribes.



here’s a short video about the san pedro prison, mainly focusing on the convicts’ children being allowed to live in the jail…



5. world’s best-looking prison
leoben justice centre, steiermark, austria
capacity: 205






yes, it’s a prison. it was created by hohensinn architektur.

it reminds me of ikea, and i have to say i think i’d rather be locked up in the actual prison - i’d be less likely to punch someone in the head due to frustration. seriously though, why spend the effort and time making a prison look that attractive? was there absolutely nothing else to focus on? if i was a homeless steiermarkian i’d be assaulting people in front of coppers and spitting on police cars until i was arrested.

6. world’s most famous prison
alcatraz / the rock, san fransisco bay, california
capacity: 336




if i was gonna be incarcerated i’d choose alcatraz as my battleground.

the island served as a prison for 29yrs, ceasing operation in 1963. it was a hardcore ‘inescapable’ jail and many prisoners found the surrounding water as an invitation to try and flee. officially no-one succeeded (sean connery?), but ‘thirty-four prisoners were involved in 14 attempts, two men trying twice; seven were shot and killed, two drowned, five were unaccounted for, and the rest were recaptured’. good effort though.

7. world’s most overcrowded prison
kresty prison, st. petersburg, russia 



russia’s prisons have a reputation for being the most overcrowded on earth, especially kresty prison in st. petersburg.

official capacity: 3,000
actual population: always at least 10,000
number of square metres per prisoner allocated by the russian government: 4
amount of time permitted for each prisoner’s weekly shower: 15 minutes

extras:

- here’s the first part of a national geographic documentary called ‘lockdown’, it’s about pelican bay state prison and it’s unbelievably scary. the other parts can be seen at this youtube profile. enjoy.



- see all the prisons of the world on google earth here.
- use your hands and face to check out supermaxed.com, a website devoted to supermax prisons, the toughest and most secure on earth.
- you can see all prisons sorted by country here.
- there’s a fucking huge amount of info about prisons and prisoners at the prisontalk forums.
- miss any of prison break? watch it all again, streamed and brilliant quality, here.